Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me.The person who wrote this must be truly dissociative… I am sure most people have at some stage experienced the devastating hurt of an either carelessly spoken or intentionally thrown WORD.This pain runs much deeper, and heals much more difficult than any stick or stone-inflicted wound.
A good friend recently visited the UK and on her return commented about the rampant teenage behaviour she personally observed while in London – public sexual behaviour, open vandalism and substance abuse…I read a book written in 2002 called Disconnected: Why you children are rejecting everything you thought you knew.It is written by a marketer/journalist who took a year and just hang around British youth, interviewing, observing and befriending them.What he wrote was scary.What my friend observed just the pinnacle of the iceberg.The British youth no doubt take the lead in a lack of morality, with what we see (scary enough already) in South Africa laps behind, possibly due to the strong Christian heritage, who knows?
Listening to my friend’s comments, which included one of a person suggesting she immigrates to the UK because it is a safer place, made me realise something that I think is significant.Many South Africans leave the country because of an intense fear of sticks and stones.The fear and the stones are very real; we just need to read the news for confirmation of the extent of the rapes, murders and other violent crimes that daily affect us.Many argue that this is no place in which to bring up children.Point taken.
However – how many of us take a moment to evaluate the not-physical dangers our children get exposed to in countries like the UK – with their lack of morality and hectic gangsterism (violence there after all…) or Australia, with their extreme secular-humanistic worldview?Might these not be potentially more dangerous to our children – spiritually and emotionally – possibly subtly hurting their souls and minds in ways that might be difficult to notice and heal… and might have eternal consequences?
Luke 12:4 says “…do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more.But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell.”Thus fear God, who is the only one with authority to throw into heaven or hell.However, extrapolating on this verse there are things more dangerous than the sticks and stones that might even kill the body…God, and therefore all those things that draw away from God… including worldview… words… peer pressure…
Posted on July 15th, 2008 by Annette. Categories: And life goes on.
I draft all kinds of blogs in the middle of the night whilst feeding. Only, once I get to sit behind the computer – usually the day after tomorrow – I cannot remember them. Not even what they were about…
Averaging 2-4 hours of broken sleep a night might be part of the reason why…
Posted on June 4th, 2008 by Annette. Categories: Thoughtful.
I hear this song often nowadays… on a video preview included on a Cedermont Kids DVD that Bianca simply loves to watch.And every time I hear it something inside me cringes at the very thought of embracing “old-time religion”.Sure, the spirit of the song and my experience of the words are not quite in line, but yet…
Visual pictures that come to mind when I hear the words “old-time religion” include the portrayal of the church in movies like Chocolat and Babette’s Feast, and even The Village, Dogville and As it is in heaven.No grace.No celebration of life.Just law and judgement and hypocrisy.No inclusion.Therefore no life or freedom.
I can just hear Jesus addressing the old-time religious of his time: “Woe to you, you hypocrites!”He had no time at all for the Pharisees etc. who were the core of the church of his day.And he shunned their ways.
As Christians we desire to become more like Jesus.This means we should be spending more time with sinners, at parties, “healing people on the Sabbath”, talking to – and touching – outcasts, celebrating and living lives that include people and in these ways showing them love, giving them living water…inviting them to that one key relationship (NOT RELIGION) that makes all the difference in the world.
Posted on May 23rd, 2008 by Annette. Categories: And life goes on.
This definitely is my experience at the moment.Literally.As my body gets bigger and bigger, I get slower and slower.It takes much more time to do even simple things, like walking, turning from one side to the other at night, and even thinking (it sometimes feels like…).As for things that include bending down, like shaving my legs, cutting my toe nails or picking up toys from the floor, they are becoming major challenges.Just in case you are wondering, I am not complaining, just describing reality…
What overshadows this part of the process is the realization that as I grow slower and slower, Esthea, in a sense, is picking up speed.Already at 3.2kg with 3 weeks to go!I feel her moving many times during the day.Often I can watch her moving as my tummy takes all kinds of funny shapes – especially in the bath!
What I do appreciate more every day is the fact that my programme is now also going slower and slower…I’m sure God inspired maternity leave…
I keep on finding myself going back to 2 Peter 1, which I find an incredibly rich scripture to think about. Among other things Peter lists a list of qualities that we must add to our faith in increasing measure so as to not be ineffective in our walk with the Lord.
Add to faith goodness, to goodness knowledge, to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.
Yesterday I stumbled on a connection between self-control and perseverance.Obviously we need to be self-controlled in many areas, and we need to persevere in many areas BUT:
Often self-control has to do with fighting temptation of some or other sort.(If it wasn’t tempting us to not be self-controlled, self control would not be necessary.)Sometimes the battle for self-control in times of temptation is intense, and it feels easier to just give in to the temptation and get the battle over and done with (and thus increasing the intensity of the next battle…). Which is where perseverance comes in.I realised it takes a lot of perseverance to consistently live a self-controlled life – especially in those areas in which you might be currently struggling.
Posted on April 23rd, 2008 by Annette. Categories: And life goes on.
People prefer different things in life.And in their experience of giving birth.Water, at home next to the dog, with a doula, midwife or doctor, a hospital… nowadays the opportunities are endless.Just page through the latest Your Pregnancy Magazine and take your pick.
In certain things I am conservative.I want my gynaecologist (he is great – let me know if you need a reference), and the hospital where he has his practice.Somehow childbirth (being the number one reason for MANY years of mother and baby deaths…) is not something I want to take a chance on.When he saw that Bianca (now 19-months) was going to be big at birth – she weighed 4.4kg – he informed me that nowadays they do not take chances with natural delivery if they can see the baby will be bigger than 4.1kg – the risks are just too high, for both mother and baby, and he booked my C-Section.Something I was glad to do on his advice.And it was great.
Yesterday I met a mom, with a daughter Bianca’s age, born weighing 4.5kg at the Femina Clinic in Pretoria (I get so outraged I don’t mind mentioning names…).She opted for a midwife with a very good reputation (luckily she didn’t mention the name).She saw a gynaecologist at 36 weeks who told her the baby would be in the range of 4.5kg, upon which she asked if she should not have a C-Section.“No”, he (I cannot remember the name even though she mentioned it, shucks) said – he trusts the midwife.She said the baby is much smaller than that and that the lady just had a lot of water…
Needless to say, everything was chaos.She was in active labour for 27 hours (something else that nowadays is not supposed to happen often for various reasons) and everything that could go wrong eventually did – since 4.5kg is really too big for a vaginal birth.They had to fight for both their lives in emergency ops, and she had complications for 11 months after the birth.She will also have to get reconstructive surgery once she has finished having children – so great was the damage to her body.
And this is not the only story I know about things with midwives going wrong, and women in active labour having to be rushed from home to hospital for emergency surgery…
Again, I know people have different preferences, and I honour that, but as for me and my husband, we will not be taking any chances!
Posted on April 22nd, 2008 by Annette. Categories: Uncategorized.
My eye caught the headline while driving (I did not catch the article though).I am sorry, but I cannot understand how anyone can be so far pregnant that the “infection” starts crying and not know that they are pregnant! I can still understand (with tremendous difficulty) that a person can get up to about 20 weeks pregnant and not know it. My understanding difficulties has to do with a woman’s interpretation of periods that no longer come (okay, so maybe there is some spotting), of morning sickness and associated symptoms (okay, maybe not there or in isolation could be seen as something different), of bodily changes…and especially of the combination of all of these!But if I stretch my mind I can understand.Just.
However, from 20 weeks a baby starts moving.You can feel it every day.I am 32 weeks pregnant now and not only constantly feel the baby moving, but SEE the elbow or foot punching or turning if I look at my – not how I regularly look, obvious for everybody that I am pregnant – belly. How on earth this can be interpreted as an infection is totally beyond me!
Posted on April 19th, 2008 by Annette. Categories: Bianca.
Sometimes kids can just make you chuckle, so cute are they…This evening I bathed Bianca, a job Samuel usually does but the Stormers were playing, so I let him off, not being a rugby fan myself.At some stage Bianca interrupted her playing, came over to me – sitting on a wooden crate next to the bath - and lifted up my shirt (I am now 31 weeks pregnant), whilst saying “hello Esthea”.This is not what was so cute though, since it is something she frequently does.What was funny was when she offered Esthea a red ball to play with…
Posted on April 19th, 2008 by Annette. Categories: And life goes on.
Earlier this week, driving somewhere early morning, Samuel commented on the smoke hanging over Mamelodi.We connected it instantly with colder nights and fires for warmth, since smoke always hangs over Mamelodi in winter.
A comment about this to Tecla, Bianca’s nanny, gave us a completely different picture, however.Apparently over a couple of nights last week gangs burned down every house, shack and shop belonging to foreigners.And every house or shack where foreigners lives – even if they are married to South Africans!Very close to where Tecla stays a 9-year old girl was burned to death.Why?Since according to the gangs and their supporters, they take up space that belongs to South Africans…
So much for valuing human life.Most people in living in Mamelodi spent the nights awake and huddled up in fear.
